“Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, endures all things.” 1 Corinthians 13:4-7

Now, before we start talking about boys and boyfriends, let me say a few things. With four girls of my own, I have done extensive research on the topic of teenage dating. I have discovered there are more benefits of NOT dating in middle school (and sometimes even into high school) than dating. I don’t expect you to agree, but that’s not going to stop me from sharing.

I asked my teenage children what the real purpose of dating is. My oldest responded, “Well, I suppose it is to find a husband or a wife.” And originally that was the purpose! So I asked, “What are the odds of you finding your spouse right now?” They all agreed that it was slim to none.

So I had them play along with me for a minute. So if you date someone now, you are either A) going to marry him, or B) not going to marry him. Right? They agreed. Since we already agreed you probably won’t find your spouse in your early teens, let’s take marriage off the table. So, with marriage out of the picture, you are left with the fact you are NOT going to marry him. That leaves you with two options. A) dump him, or B) get dumped by him. Which one do you want???
Now, like I mentioned earlier, I doubt you agree with this line of thinking. That’s OK! And chances are, you will have a boyfriend at some point before you graduate. With that being said, here’s a list of topics and questions (adapted from Lysa TerKeurst) to ask yourself about this terrific guy you want to date.

  • Words – Do his words (spoken and written) build others up or tear them down?
  • Character – Who is he when no one else is looking?
  • Personality – Who is he around other people?
  • Interests – What kinds of things does he do to recharge?
  • Feelings – Do you feel better about yourself when he’s around?
  • Worship – Who or what does he worship in the shrine of his heart?
  • Attraction - Is your attraction to him centered around something that will stay over time?
  • Intentions – Is he looking out for your best interest or his own?
  • Boundaries – Does he respect your boundaries?

If you can’t answer these questions honestly, ask someone you trust and knows you both well. These answers will tell you a lot about this friend that’s a boy.

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